just to show that i'm worth it.
Fun day bad day:)
Sunday, January 31, 2010 @ 1:17 AM
Was tired due to the hangover ytd.Drunk like shit.Woke up early this morning to have my photoshoot with my family members,Some sort of quan jia fu without my grannie:(.I miss her.Hope she's alright in heaven.
After that went to eat and fly to anchorpoint to shop for my shoes.Took like 1 hour to decide what shoes i want LOL.Bought it and went to shop some groceries.Todays traffic was like wth,Go where jam where,Sick of it._. .Argh haven see my shirt i'm gonna buy zzzz.Hopefully suntec or wisma have it.Nothing else to post ler.Tired,Rest!!!:)
Congrats on being together with him.Wish u all the best,u have my blessing.I don even know why i am doing this.I'm useless,piece of trash.Take care.Be happy with him=).The last present is,the pillow to u.If u don wan it just throw it away.
Some pictures of being a idiot butler and a duck:)
Love -Jonjon
Y must u do this to me.Y must u lie..
Friday, January 29, 2010 @ 8:34 PM
Y?y must u lie to me.U like him i told u already u can tell me.Why didnt u tell me.Why must u break my heart again?izzit because i'm so soft heartenend u must do this to me?Just be happy with him ok.I really given up already.I guess we wont even contact any further after this.All i do is futile.All u know is say that u love me,u wan me to give up on u,don care about you,don concern about u,just leave u alone all because of letting me give up on u?until today then i know that how foolish i can be,being lied and lied again and again.I wont be the Jon Ng Qixiang u know anymore.Its enough hurt u have implied on me.Thanks=).For u just be happy with him.I'm serious to say that u wont ever see me anymore.Anyway tonight i'll be drink outside any1 wanna join can give me a call.No mood to post anything anymore.
PS:You still don understand how it feels to be hurt till like this.Thanks for the memories.I will give up on u as u wish.Be happy with shenghao and have my blessings.
U will never know how much hatred i have inside me right now.
Useless -Jonjon
I've given in too much,i'm taking back my love.
Thursday, January 28, 2010 @ 7:38 PM
I've really given in too much for her,trying to be more selfish to take back my love.She actually hurt me more than i hurt her i guess.Life Aint fair,the world is never fair.Time for me to rest and relax,trying to forget everything.Had the free time and packed up all her stuff into a box.I guess i will be giving back to her when the times comes.Its enough already.I don wanna move on anymore.I'm tired.I don wanna talk to her or even see her anymore.My heart is broken into pieces.Anyway thanks BerBer for talking to me,comforting me.Really appreciate and also Liying uh don say i forget about your help to wake me up=).Nothing else to post anymore I'll change it into my daily life-journal soon.Thanks for all who are there for me.Really appreciated it.Fml to those that treat me like shit=P.Lastly I'll be changing my hand-phone number soon to avoid spam.Thanks :D
A new song i wanna share :D taking back my love by enrique ft ciara
the song is in my playlist so yeah try listening to it^^Love -Jonjon
What can i do or say.U never know how i really feel for you =(
Wednesday, January 27, 2010 @ 8:02 PM
Just got back from camp.Went to her house downstairs and think about the memories.Its tiring!oh my i wish i was dead.Didnt get much sleep yesterday due to my camp exercises.My life is turn around by this stupid things.Thought alot before i went to sleep =x.I just wish that i am not a crybaby anymore,Think of those stuff she told me,think about everything.I cant stop my eyes from filling up with tears.I feel that i'm not worthy anymore for you.I just can be better off dead.It sucks.I don wanna make you sad or drop any tears anymore,Its not worthy for a unworthy person to make u cry.Thanks for the chances u give me and i didnt appreciate it.Sorry too.I can never do it alone seriously.I'm trying to,But u just said that u cannot see the changes in me in ur post.It really hurt my heart.Its hurting so bad i can be better off dead.Like u said if there is other guys thats better than me u will go.I just hope u will be happy.There is no more chances for me,no more anything for me anymore.I just gonna reflect it on myself again.Because of u,u made me change,and u r unhappy with the changes.U promise me u will change.U promise u will treasure more.Did u think of that?Honestly even if i don text u,don call u.U also find others to talk to and text.I just don wanna say this cause it feels bad,and i hurt ur feelings.All those phone calls,smses and HIM.i feel i wont have anymore chances.I really hopeless piece of shit right now or a walking idiot with no directions in mind.i'll continue my post later.Going out for a walk to cool down myself and things.And lastly those who tag me are my friends.Its been long since i contacted them.They only tag why do u keep telling me to forget you?Look u don even know how i think how i feel and u tell me this.U got spare a thought for me?U got try to understand me?Why and who am i doing it for?Who am i holding on to?Its u right.If u want to hurt my feelings more just do it.I'm used to it since we broke up.Suan ler.Going city hall to shop,walk and rest for the day at starbucks to relax myself.Anyone wanna find me can text me at 85225630.I wanna take a break.=(Love -Jonjon
Anyone save me please?T_T
Tuesday, January 26, 2010 @ 6:59 AM
haiz.i dont even know she was giving me chances.I screwed it up,i sucks.Right now my feeling just feels that i'm really no worthy for anyone already.I just Sucks to the core.She cried and told me why i didnt cherish the chances she gave me.My mind was totally blank.I dunno what to do anymore.Sorry to her that i screwed it up.I'm useless,i'm crappy,i'm piece of shit.But loving u seeing u happy is all that i can only do for you.U told me that if there is a good guy out there u will go for it.well i say u should cause u wont be happy with me.I still haven change enough i guess.Now the worst,nobody is there to help me get out of the maze.How i wish that u will bring me out.But its all too late.I need your support your encouragement for me,Guess i wont be able to taste it anymore.I mayb thinking negatively but i'm just trying to ease my pain for you.Anyway u should know that I sucks.i didnt cherish the chances u gave me today.Two somemore.I really dunno what to do what to say already.Anyone can help me get back to the right path?i'm scared,i'm lonely,i'm tired.Save me =(
the 10th day
Monday, January 25, 2010 @ 6:35 PM
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
As usual.Went to camp on sunday to runaway from all my unhappiness.Crying though still.Trying my best to forget everything and just end my army life for a better life.i dunno what am i thinking,it felt something was missing,but what can i do?i can only be this close to a person though.She don love me anymore,i don see what's the point in telling me all those things she's telling me.The more i think of what she have done to hurt me,the more my heartache.How i wish i can just kill this pain inside me.Friends told me its my fault for not cherishing her,but u change it should be ok.i tried!But at the end,its still the same.Efforts,thoughtfullness,care and concern have been put in.I dont understand what's is wrong that i did.I felt sad.What can i say?I can just pray for her and hope she can get her happiness soon.no matter what happen to me i simply just don care anymore.I just wanna protect.Just now i went to her house downstairs and saw her.I was happy though to at least saw her,see her smile,she's happy,thats all.To think that i love her so much and she treated me like just a stranger.Once i saw her leaving i left and went home.i think that this is what i can really do i guess,Just watch her from a distance and she'll be fine also.Suan ler don say already.i feel that there no more chance for me to get back also,no point talking much already.i sucks.=) guess i'm not worthy to be with anyone anymore.and i'm not worthy of any1 love.
Got back to camp and we had a majong game but it sucks!Started since 11.30 till 4am.phew._.".After that i went to do ferry for my camp.i'm shag!!Recently alot of thinking and things to do,driving,sai kang,problems in my mileage,dunno i will get charge for my case anot =x.Just don think so much now,after i lost everything.After that i chatted with yingying dajie and tell her thanks for helping my fix the errors on the blog and my blogskin.I wanted it to be more gay alright!!Chat about some stuff and she went to sleep.Nevertheless,thanks alot wunying!!=) deeply appreciated it.But can help me do tagbox?hehe=x mayb i'm asking too much.
Came home due to duty off and rest for awhile i guess.Tonight going back to camp due to ferry service in the morning.Somemore 6.30 in the morning=(.Nothing already.guess tml i'll go home for awhile to post again dhen i'll be back to camp for duty :D.
And i got this lyrics.Its kinda touching and nice but try listen to it for a relax and meaningful song :D i'll be putting songs in my blog soon hopefully it has no errors :D.The song title is ''officially missing you'' enjoy!*went out to chill myself*
All i hear is raindrops.
Falling on the rooftop.
Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go
Cause the pain i feel
It wont go away.
And today i'm officially missing you.
I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But i fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today
I'm officially missing you
Oh can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I,I'm officially missing you.
All i do is lay around
Two ears full tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now i don't even know you at all
I don't know u at all
Well i wish that you would call me right now
So that i could get through to you somehow
But i guess it's safe to say baby safe to say
That i,I'm Officially missing you
Well i thought i could just got over you baby
But i see that's something i just can't do
From the way u would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can't find a way
To let go of you
Its officially.You know that i'm missing you
Yeah yes
All i hear is raindrops
And I'm officially missing you.
Loves -Jonjon
no matter how u glue back a broken glass heart it can never be put back to its original place..=)
Sunday, January 24, 2010 @ 1:38 AM
After what happen today..i realised how much i really love her..even though i said all that harsh words..i tried my best to change for her.I still don understand what i really have done to deserve this..she wanted me to change,i tried my best to be the perfect guy for her,end up,she don even care about how i feel!Army is tough recently too many things to worry about.Dont get much sleep and eat anything recently cause of her.She really made my life fill with colour once,twice,thrice.Just because i never cherish u once,twice its my fault.I'm trying to change for u,talk to u nicely,try not to be jealous.U think i wanna be jealous all day long seeing u with him sms and stuff?It hurts everyday alright.Though i can do nothing i can only wish for ur happiness,i hope that u can find some1 better than me.I'm just a useless piece of crap,a guy who take for granted of your love.I've been thinking too much about u everytime i see my wallet.it really consist of the memories i have with u.Its so hurtful,what i can do?i can only cry to ease my pain,confort myself to sleep everyday.i miss u.i love u.i can only protect u from 1 corner from now on.I wont be there for u.I cant be there for u.Cause i'm not worthy of u.I once told u that i wrote a msg everyday ever since we broke up.Dunno u can see anot but just write it for fun^^.
8th day since we broke up..today u went to ikea with ur friends..last minutes again?i hate it always..but u're always like this..u wont know how hurtful am i.u just think about urself!u just do what u think u want.U know i broke down when i'm having duty?u just simply like to see me get hurt by u time and again!all u think is ur friends,ur family,to u i am nothing at all.Who exactly am i to u?i guess its the end soon.I change and do what u wanted and this is what u show me by saying "u love me".I wan you love i wanna be together with u.I know i hurt u once twice but i'm not gonna hurt u cause i don wanna get hurt too.but everything seems so far from u now.I am tired,i wanna sleep and don wake up forever.U wont know how much i have gone through these 8 days.
loves -Jonjon
